Good news – turns out you won’t need to upgrade your iPhone after all

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Apple Plug parody

Apple did it. Apple really did it.

Last night, Tim Cook stood on stage in San Francisco and killed the headphone jack with the sleek iPhone 7.

While people are predictably freaking out about the change, there’s actually a way for you to get involved in the port removal without paying the eye-watering price for the upgrade.

How?

Simple – through the magic of the Apple Plug.

Apple Plug parody
The device allows users of existing iPhones with their outdated and totally uncool audio configuration to shore up the pesky 3.5mm hole once and for all.

Now, obviously, this isn’t actually real *sigh*, but let’s take some time to appreciate the finer points of this parody.

Through the dedicated and extremely convincing website clone (which even features the same scrollable graphics), Apple’s quintessential melodramatic tone is used to describe the Apple Plug.

Apple Plug parody

“This isn’t 2009. Your phone doesn’t have a floppy drive, and it shouldn’t have a headphone connector either. When we made iPhone 6 and 6s, the world wasn’t ready for the future. Now, it is.

“Apple Plug is the perfect solution. Fill in your archaic headphone connector with beautiful aluminium and plug yourself into the future.

“Once in place, Apple Plug cannot be removed. But why would you want to? Would you want to downgrade? We didn’t think so.”

We’ll wait patiently until somebody posts a YouTube video of them actually destroying their headphone port with a makeshift Plug.